I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
