Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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