omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
