We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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