Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was born a porn star she said
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize