alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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