I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
