There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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