butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i have herpe
just one?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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