if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
