apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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