she woke up with a sticky ear
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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