she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
