I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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