so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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