got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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