if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
