No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize