I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
