It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
