Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
