Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
