would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
