i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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