she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
