Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize