2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
