I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
