i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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