So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize