My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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