I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
