i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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