I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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