your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
