two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
