how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize