Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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