Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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