i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
