He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
