She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
