I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
