You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize