guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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