I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Found your dick twin last night
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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