areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
