Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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