I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize