what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
