I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You were trust falling into bushes
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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