Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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