Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
