I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
