I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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