I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
