Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize