Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Everclear isn't food dammit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
