I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize