we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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