ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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