gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
