I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
