He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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