Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
