just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize