It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
