Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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