Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
