white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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