just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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