Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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