There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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