I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
