My nipple is on Facebook.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
