I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize